Deformed Essays

Disclaimer: This post is basically  The Chatner fanfic. It's That Time Of Year Again! The time of year to Apply Healing Salves.  Anoint yourself with oils & pastes. So many different salves, all in tubes. Different tubes for lips, face, other part of face that is not lips, hands, rest of body, tattooed parts of body, maybe hair, definitely parts of body from which hair has been removed.  Each paste is different because different parts of body have different skin needing different pastes, according to Little Sister Who Knows About Skincare and Convenience Store Aisle and Friends Who Know About Skincare and Social Media Content. Some tubes are same sizes, some tubes are different sizes, many tubes with similar colors and logos. Don't mix up the tubes!! Keep tubes organized for putting each specific paste on corresponding skin at correct approximate time of day. Additional tubes every year because body ages and dries out more.  Too tired to apply salve? Tomorrow morning, yo

HANNAH BROWN (HB): This is a pretty original, fun-to-read meditation on body art, bodily autonomy, and disability! MY INNER CRITIC (MIC): Kinda? But also the last sentence in the second-to-last paragraph is a bit of a non-sequitur, or at least needs unpacking, and the ending comes across as really positive, which almost renders the whole piece hollow and superficial. You should probably focus exclusively on these two flaws and hide this essay away until you get to a final set of revisions that make it perfect. HB: I think it’s really better to get it out on paper and let it see the light of day, though! MIC: Oh, no, definitely not, but that gives me an idea. Why not leave it in your brain indefinitely? Just think about it in the shower or on walks and it’ll be brilliant (as long as you never actually write it)! HB: That jazz combo is tough! MIC: You’re not going to get it. HB: What? I mean, I don’t have it now, but if I practice it at ho - MIC: No, you didn’t get it immediately